ComputerHacker

ComputerHacker

Subject:      A Hacker’s Night Before Christmas
From:         “Cheri Bogowitz”

A Hacker’s Night Before Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
Not a computer was stirring, not even a mouse.
The hard drives were left on in each computer case
With a database for Santa, punched up in dBase.

The hackers were all snug asleep in their beds,
While visions of access codes danced in their heads.
And I with my PC and Ma with her Mac,
Had settled in for a long winter’s nap.

When up from my modem there arose such a squeal,
I jumped from my bed and said, “What’s the deal!!?!?”
To my computer I tore like a flash,
Hoping I wasn’t suffering a Christmas Eve Crash.

A flashing green light on the front of my case,
Showed late-night activity (I hope not erase).
I turned on my monitor and what did appear,
But a .GIF old sleigh and eight blinking reindeer.

On a flashing bright icon I made a quick click,
And sure enough who appeared, but good old Saint Nick.
At 9600 baud the images they came,
As he loaded them up, he called them by name.

“Load Windows and Lotus, Prodigy and Quicken,
Add brand new DOS upgrades, and games for the children.
To the old root directory, to make room for them all,
How about a new hard drive, this one’s all full!

As I watched as he worked through the database with care,
Checking the gift list we had left there.
He searched into his bag and pulled out with aplomb,
Bright shiny new discs for the new CD-ROM.
A brand new fax-modem (well, who asked for that!?!?),
Bundles of SIMMS, co-processors galore,
From one board to another, he filled up each hole.
And when he was finished, the tower cases were full,
With fun new software, just ready to install.

Then lining the cursor alongside of his nose,
Out of my new SVGA, up slowly he rose.
He jumped out of DOSSHELL, my SoundBlaster did sound,
As the TSR fell away, ’til next Christmas comes around.

Then I heard him exclaim as he up-loaded from sight,
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good byte!!

Click here to see the original Twas the Night Before Christmas Poem

Computer_StGeek

Computer_StGeek

From: Gordie Zeigler
Date: 2004-12-17

“A Visit from old St. Geek”

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a hard drive was whirring, nor clicking of mouse;
The PC’s were unplugged from the network with care,
In hopes that a new version soon would be there;

The users were safe at home in their beds,
While screenshots of a new interface danced in their heads;
And the sys admin in his jeans, and I in my suede,
Had just hunkered down for a version upgrade,

When from the hard drive there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the seat to see what was the matter.
It clanged and it ground and smoke it did spew
And I swore I could smell the NIC frying too.

I reached for the keyboard and those magic three keys
But not in time could I get to “CTRL-ALT-DELETE”
The hard drive kept charging like some renegade
And I knew we were at the mercy of this version upgrade.

So outside I went for a nicotine binge
Knowing my job on this upgrade did hinge!
The vendor had promised this software would work!
But now where was he? At home, like a jerk!

The moon shone bright on the two cars in the lot
Just mine and the sys admin’s, that sorry sot.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
A man in a VeeDub, smiling from ear to ear.

In his bag he carried books of languages of yore,
Pascal, Fortran, Cobol, Basic and more.
With a pocket protector and a shirt that was untucked,
I knew my problems were solved; I was no longer in trouble.

Yes I knew in an instant tho I could hardly speak,
I had been blessed by a visit from old St. Geek.
His clothes were unkempt; his shoes could have been cleaner,
But I was just happy to see his calm demeanor.

I stood there staring like a stop for the door
When he snapped his fingers and said, “Quick! To the raised floor!”
So I led the way down the halls to the IT server room
I led him in the door and not a moment too soon.

He jumped to the console and had nary a query,
The sys admin was nervous but I said, “Don’t be leery,”
“This man is exactly the resource we seek,”
“This man is none other than old St. Geek!”

With sweat from his brow and fingers that blazed,
He tickled the keyboard o’er the floor that was raised.
He got to a dialog where I thought he should click “OK”
But he knew the renegade software would say, “No Way”

With skill and aplomb he rescued our server,
He answered each prompt with incredible fervor.
The noise from the hard drive began to slowly subside,
And I could tell he’d be successful in turning the tide.

The server stopped groaning, and clanking and clinking
Not long after that the right lights were blinking.
He glanced at us over his shoulder, never missing a command,
And with a wink and a nod, said, “Who’s your Geek, man?”

He cleaned up the evidence of our upgrade gone awry,
And I knew in the morning the CIO would not cry.
My job would be spared and I am eternally glad,
For old St. Geek and the bag of tricks that he had.

He returned to his VeeDub and opened the moon roof
And ‘ere we could snap a picture to claim as our proof
He punched it and laid rubber but I did hear him say,
“Happy Holidays to all, and to all, safe upgrades!”

© Gordie Zeigler 12/2004, NewVa Corridor Technology Council
Obviously inspired by Clement Clark Moore

–
Gordie Zeigler, Executive Director
NCTC
108 N. Jefferson, Suite 306
Roanoke, VA 24016
in the Roanoke Higher Education Center
http://www.TheTechnologyCouncil.com

Click here to see the original Twas the Night Before Christmas Poem

Twas the Night Before Christmas Commotion

Twas the Night Before Christmas  Commotion

Originally published in:
The Durham Herald-Sun

‘Twas the Night Before …
by Miriam Murdock of Chapel Hill

Twas the night before Christmas, and all thru the house
Every creature was stirring, yes, even the mouse.
The only one not raising clamor and clatter
Was the turkey defrosting upon his white platter.

Aunt Bonnie was upchucking about every hour
And, Freddy was howling with all his lung power.
Mama stood there patting him, head drooping low
Till papa took over for an hour or so.

Lights flashed on and off in every new room
And fan and disposal did rumble and boom
Freddy’s stocking was hung by the chimney with care,
But with all the commotion, how did it stay there?

But Santa still came, with Bonnie and Charlie
And in spite of it all our Christmas was jofly.

Click here to see the original Twas the Night Before Christmas Poem